My Story
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Copyright Cry It Out Recovery © 2007-2008
Eventually, I had to leave my sales position as I was truly beginning to falter financially. Another interesting
thing I experienced was chronic knee pain in both knees, which is something that I’d never experienced
before. What I learned later was that this was an attempt by my mind to not only shut itself down but shut me
down with it.
I eventually did find steady work, but all of my time outside of work was spent at home drinking and playing
video games until the early morning hours. At that point in my life, it was the only way for me to cope or “not”
cope depending on how you look at it.
At that time, I was dependent on alcohol for self medication and emotion regulation. Gaming helped me
zone out even further by keeping my mind occupied and was also a dependency. The many nights and
weekends of drinking and gaming caused me to put on weight. I was drinking until I was extremely
intoxicated and that would cause me to get the munchies, at which point I’d overeat. Eventually I became
100lbs over weight.
This wasn’t my first experience with dependency or obsessive-compulsive behavior. Knowing what I know
now, I realize that even as a child I had obsessions. As I grew, I developed a dependency on masturbation
and eventually, once I was old enough to start working, I became dependent on pornography. What I didn’t
realize was that I was using both of these things to regulate my emotions.
So there I was, dependent on alcohol, gaming, and pornography. Compulsively eating and spending while
living a life of isolation and I had no idea how I’d gotten there. I would later find out through working on
myself that all of this was due the damage done by CIO.
In August of 2005 I had emotionally hit rock bottom. I was functioning and still holding a job but something
had to change. I was doing some online research regarding abandonment issues, as I realized that I’d had
an issue with this, and while reading a Google answer on the subject, I read a response from someone
who seemed quite knowledgeable on the subject and had included a link to the website for Avatar. Avatar is
an experiential course, meaning you learn by doing. It is designed to teach a person the tools which allow
them to mange their beliefs by creating the ones that they want and ‘discreating’ (releasing or deleting) the
ones that they don’t want.
I was going through some of their free mini-courses online when I came across one on forgiveness that
had a very powerful exercise in it that allowed me to non-traumatically work through many of the things that
were causing me pain, both past and present.
Previous 1 2 3 Next
thing I experienced was chronic knee pain in both knees, which is something that I’d never experienced
before. What I learned later was that this was an attempt by my mind to not only shut itself down but shut me
down with it.
I eventually did find steady work, but all of my time outside of work was spent at home drinking and playing
video games until the early morning hours. At that point in my life, it was the only way for me to cope or “not”
cope depending on how you look at it.
At that time, I was dependent on alcohol for self medication and emotion regulation. Gaming helped me
zone out even further by keeping my mind occupied and was also a dependency. The many nights and
weekends of drinking and gaming caused me to put on weight. I was drinking until I was extremely
intoxicated and that would cause me to get the munchies, at which point I’d overeat. Eventually I became
100lbs over weight.
This wasn’t my first experience with dependency or obsessive-compulsive behavior. Knowing what I know
now, I realize that even as a child I had obsessions. As I grew, I developed a dependency on masturbation
and eventually, once I was old enough to start working, I became dependent on pornography. What I didn’t
realize was that I was using both of these things to regulate my emotions.
So there I was, dependent on alcohol, gaming, and pornography. Compulsively eating and spending while
living a life of isolation and I had no idea how I’d gotten there. I would later find out through working on
myself that all of this was due the damage done by CIO.
In August of 2005 I had emotionally hit rock bottom. I was functioning and still holding a job but something
had to change. I was doing some online research regarding abandonment issues, as I realized that I’d had
an issue with this, and while reading a Google answer on the subject, I read a response from someone
who seemed quite knowledgeable on the subject and had included a link to the website for Avatar. Avatar is
an experiential course, meaning you learn by doing. It is designed to teach a person the tools which allow
them to mange their beliefs by creating the ones that they want and ‘discreating’ (releasing or deleting) the
ones that they don’t want.
I was going through some of their free mini-courses online when I came across one on forgiveness that
had a very powerful exercise in it that allowed me to non-traumatically work through many of the things that
were causing me pain, both past and present.
Previous 1 2 3 Next